Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Now and Then. Then and Now.

Every now and then we are given the opportunity to see our own growth, our own progress. It's a gift, to say the least...although it may not feel quite like a gift at the time of "receiving" it.  

Yesterday I experienced two things that brought about this spiraling of thoughts related to progress.  I had decided to finally (after 5 years) organize my pictures on my computer.  I don't even really know what I had in mind when setting out to this, so I just started scrolling.  

I was taken aback by a sight I did not want to recognize!  It was a picture of me, in my surgical oncologist's office, awaiting PET scan results...but I was UNDER his desk (my husband took this pic, which I did not appreciate at the time...AT ALL, but now, I'm grateful for it)...

When I saw this, I instantly felt sick, and shocked, and was jolted back to this awful time...which was the very beginning of my melanoma journey.  

I remember the feelings so clearly...that of total fear, isolation, and impending doom.  But, now, sitting here looking at this picture, I am given the opportunity to see (and I'm glad it's as concrete as a picture) how things have changed over time.  

I still experience fear, of course.  But today, I have faith and many others tools that help me through fear.  As long as progress (slow as it may be) is happening, I am grateful.  Perfection (or total lack of fear) is not my I know it's not very realistic...for me.

Not too long after encountering that picture, I happened upon an amazing creation on Facebook...that seemed to foster some clarity in this whole "growth" epiphany.

I saw this and realized that back THEN, I felt completely alone.  And that NOW, I am happily connected to so much: faith, a melanoma community, family, doctors, etc.  Life is so much better NOW!

So, every now and then, we are graced with the gift of seeing things in a "then and now" way, and for that I am thankful.  Be open to seeing these gifts, as they can come in some unusual packages.

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress."
~Frederick Douglass


  1. Thank you SO much for sharing. It's only been about 5 months for me, and since joining the melanoma blogging community about 3 weeks ago, I am amazed at the overwhelming support and encouragement. This post made me see things in a "then and now" way, and I sure needed it.

    1. Thank you so much for reading, sharing, and joining the melanoma community! Being connected makes all the difference! Thrilled to hear about your scan results! XOXO!!!